May 31st, 2022
Recently, Balthazar (one of my Spirit Guides) has been asking me: “Does this make you happy?”
In other words, is what I’m doing at that moment feeding my Spirit? If not, what needs to change?
Sometimes it’s my attitude that needs to change. For example, we recently went through a month-long house renovation, and with all the people traipsing in and out of my house, and in the midst of all the banging and sawing and (de)construction, there was very little down-time or alone time, something that I, as an introverted individual, desperately need in order to feel centered and at peace. (After a month of construction/deconstruction and being displaced in one’s own home, I image even extroverted people would feel the same!) So one afternoon while painting the walls of our new upstairs living space, feeling tired and annoyed and ready for everyone to be OUT of my house already, I realized that by painting that room, not only was I serving my family at that moment, ensuring that they had a beautiful space to relax and be at peace, but I was also serving the next family who would be enjoying that lovely space long after we were gone. Then, replacing my scowl with a smile, I continued painting, singing songs of praise to God, allowing what was previously a hated and dreaded activity to be transformed into an activity of service and gratitude, feeding my Spirit.
However, when it comes to feeding my Spirit, it’s usually been my activity that needs to change.
The problem is multifaceted, as problems tend to be. First, I’ve struggled greatly with depression in the past, and much of my days were filled with mindless activities to either take my thoughts away from the depression, or were simple tasks that took as little energy as possible, because I had no energy to spare. Furthermore, it also took a lot of energy to process the trauma I had suppressed for so long, so if all I could manage to do that day was wake up, get out of bed, brush my teeth at some point during the day, and put together an evening meal for my family, that was as much of an accomplished day as it could possibly be.
However, now that I’m on the right track, thanks be to God, am no longer suffering from debilitating depression, and am at a point where I’ve processed enough of the past traumas so as to feel more stable in my mind and emotions, I’ve found that I have had the tendency to stay in that “rut,” so to speak, of mindless activities that bring me no real, actual pleasure, and that do nothing to feed my Spirit.
Now that my Spirit Guides have made me aware of this, I’m working on becoming more mindful of my activities and on what I choose to expend my energy on, learning to make a habit of asking myself: is this something that is truly and deeply making me happy by feeding my Spirit; and if not, what needs to change: my activity or my attitude?
Some examples of activities that feed my Spirit include:
- being in nature and observing the beauty that God created
- meditation, whether for two minutes, an hour, or longer, if possible
- when longer meditation isn’t possible at that time, simply taking a moment or two to mindfully breathe and connect with my Spirit and with my Guides
- listening to uplifting music
- studying sacred texts
- acts of service to my family and to others
- encouraging conversation and interactions with like-minded people
- spending quality time with my family
- and much more
When I practice each of these things with the right attitude, they all, in some way, bring a closer connection to my Creator.
What feeds your Spirit?
Diary of a Christian Mystic 