Energy Circles Revisited

Last year, on July 25th, I wrote about an unusual experience I had. I wrote about it in this blog post, but here’s a slightly condensed version of what happened:

As is customary for me, I had awakened and was having a hard time going back to sleep, so I started talking to … Balthazar, and Jesus was there, too, of course, because I often see Jesus and Balthazar together. And although past negative experiences have contributed to a general reticence to being around Jesus overly much, I wasn’t feeling uncomfortable in His presence, even though His “energy” (I guess you’d call it that…?) was stronger than usual.

Some time passed in easy silence, and I began feeling a lot of healing energy coming from God. Although I’m becoming more accustomed to connecting directly with GOD — the Divine, the Source, the Infinite, the Father, whatever words you’d like to use — I still find it to be unexpected at times, and always incredibly awe-inspiring, so I was humbly appreciative.

Then I started to hear Spirit singing a simple little tune. I can’t recall the tune now, of course, but I remember that it was only two lines with seven tones each, the second line slightly different than the first, but still seven tones. She was singing those tones, over and over again, and I began singing with Her, softly.

Now, this whole time, I had been aware more so of the physical world than the spiritual, but at that point, I began to be more aware of the spiritual world. For various reasons, mostly having to do with past traumas, that’s usually a scary transition for me, going between the physical and the spiritual, and one I have habitually, but not always successfully, tried to avoid. But in being so caught up in the song I was singing with Spirit, I hardly noticed the transition at first until I saw a very strange thing appear before me: it looked like a circle within a circle, and the circles appeared to be on fire, although, after contemplating later on it, I think maybe the circles weren’t on fire in the way we think of fire, but it was like two circles of electric energy.

There was also another set of circles there, to the right of the first set. Unlike the first set, they were dark, barely able to be seen, but their energy could be felt, and it was just as strong, maybe stronger, even, than the first set of circles.

At this point I began to realize that Spirit was pulling me out of my body. I don’t like coming out of my body, usually, unless I’m switched to another part of me who is okay with that (but when that happens, I’m dissociative, and not always completely aware of what’s going on), so I began struggling against it, fearful. I began asking first Balthazar, and then Jesus, and then GOD to help me and to make it stop, and in my fear of leaving my body and being unable to come back (dying, in other words), I had a very clear thought: “I’m not ready to meet God because I’m not good enough!”

But Spirit kept singing and pulling me forward, while Jesus and Balthazar began pushing me forward from behind, and a few moments later, I was pulled completely out of my body and through the dark set of electric circles, a very strong energy surging through me like a wave of light.

Then I was back in my body again.

I’m not sure what this means, exactly, but I have learned that if anything has a significance that I need to know about, then understanding will come in time.

Fast forward to a few weeks ago. While in thoughtful meditation one morning, I mustered the courage to ask, and was given the understanding of what had happened.

First, I came to a more clear understanding of who “Spirit” is. Not a full understanding as of yet, no, but I know now that she is my Divine Mother, the Womb from which my Spirit was born. She was the one who was with me from the beginning, before I was born into the physical, the one who came to me in the meadows of the Heaven in which I resided then.

But regarding the energy circles, it was explained to me that the circle of energy I was brought through (the “dark” circle, which spoke of its “hidden” nature) was symbolic of being taken from one dimension of reality to another. So even while I am still existing on this physical plane (of course…), spiritually speaking, I have been translated or transferred into a different place, whereby life is radically different for me now.

I have felt this change, this shift within me for the past year, as it grows and expands within my heart and mind. It’s a place where I can only see the step I’m taking right at this moment, but where I am learning to fully trust God to guide my next step, even though I can’t see it right now.

This spiritual state has been manifest in the physical, and has been a recurring theme in my life over the past year, as both myself and my husband have noticed, whereby each decision we have made in the past year has been made with the feeling of “we have no idea what we’re doing,” but as we have learned to walk in a place of trusting God, one door after another has been opening before us, and all we do is simply take a step and walk through. It’s been amazing to watch how God is working things out. In many ways, it seems so effortless on our part. Any other time in my life previously, the element of the unknown, of the “I’m not sure where I’m going, but here I go anyway,” would have terrified me. But now, it only brings peace, and even excitement to see what new place the Spirit is going to open for us next.

This new place — this new spiritual dimension I have been led into — also has me seeing more beauty, whereas before, the ugliness prevailed. It has me feeling optimistic. And whereas before I may have felt the burdens of this life pressing upon me from all sides, I now feel lifted up and at peace.

Oh, I know what’s going on in the world around me. It’s ugly. It’s burdensome. It’s frightening. I’m not unaware, but I’m also not focused on it.

You see, this world is not the Well from which I drink, it is not the Source that fills me up, it is not the House where I find refuge, it is not the Pillow upon which I rest, it is not the Streets upon which I travel, it is not the Rock which keeps me safe, it is not the Wind that lifts me up, nor the Breath which gives me Life.

I am here on this Earth but for a season, and while I have learned to love the moments I spend here, to seek after and appreciate every moment of beauty, and to learn from every pain, Life is so much more than what we see and experience in the physical.

Life is the Kingdom of God, a Kingdom not of this world, yet it is here, now, all around us and within us.

Can you see the Kingdom, too?